As I sit hear in my rocker, holding Corbin while he snores, I can't help but think about many different things. Like, how sorry I am that my fathers dog, Sigira, is lost. She and my dad are best buds. I prayed to my Father in Heaven that she might be found. Perhaps a childish thing to do, but I know that my Father in Heaven cares because I care. I know He listened to my heart felt prayer.
I think of how at home I feel here in Indiana. I was born in the Midwest, moved to Utah around eighteen months of age. I didn't come back until a year ago when we came for Adams interview with Sweetwater. I have to tell you, when we were driving away from the airport and into Fort Wayne, I began to cry. I was so over come with emotion. I had never felt that way, but I felt as if I had come home. For the first time in my life, I knew exactly where I belonged. (Location wise). I was so happy to have come home. I was even more thrilled that I knew we would be moving there. Even though Adam hadn't had his interview yet. Thanks to the power of prayer, we already knew he would get the job. I love Indiana. I love the Midwest.
I do miss Idaho, though. When I started dancing in high school, people started asking me what I liked more. Dancing or singing. What a hard decision. Eventually, I came up with the perfect answer. Singing is my first love, but dancing is my passion. It's the same basic principle for Idaho and Indiana. Idaho is my first love, but Indiana (or the Midwest) is my home. There will always be a special place in my heart for Idaho. But here, I am home.
I sit here gazing at Corbin as he falls in and out of sleep. Looking at my beautiful and perfect boy. Is his head perfectly round? No. Is his skin flawless? No. (He suffers from eczema). But he's perfect.
I think of Alister as he takes his nap about how he'll be two in just a couple months. How much we love that sweet, innocent boy. We worry a little that he's not conversing. He doesn't say many words. But, yet, I don't feel there's anything wrong. He understands a lot of simple instructions. He knows what a lot of things are. I'm hoping that one day, perhaps around two, he'll just start talking. But, we'll wait and find out. Perhaps there's a reason that God has for his delayed speech. A lesson somewhere. I try hard to not worry and be patient. He did a lot of other things later then most children. So maybe this is one of those things.
I also sit and think of Adam. Come August we will be married five years. Five years! We'll have known each other for six. I can remember the day we met so well. We've now lived in four cities, moved five times, had three dogs, one cat, two mice, seven cars, several adventures and two beautiful boys. Adam is my best friend. He knows all there is to know about me. He accepts all my faults. He likes that I'm short. He's proud of me. He's thankful for me. He makes me a better and more patient person. He thinks I'm beautiful, even when I don't believe him. We've gone through very tough trials. But, we held strong. And now, we're stronger and closer for it. Adams smile warms my heart. When I hear him talk about the gospel and bear his testimony, I fall in love with him even more. When I see him play and hold our boys, I fall even more in love. We're not perfect. No one is perfect. But, even with his faults, I love Adam with all my being. I always will.
I think often of The Lord. His gospel and how essential it is to my life. I couldn't imagine going through life without it. I wonder how someone can. As I've lived here in Fort Wayne, I have witnessed the inspiration of the of the missionaries. When over for dinner, they have left us with spiritual thoughts that pertain to our current situation without knowing what it is themselves. They have dropped by our our apartment just to say hello when we needed them most. To see young men who are so powerfully intune with the spirit is a wonder to behold. I've now had the opportunity to go to lessons with the sister missionaries twice. It is a blessing. If ever, you have the opportunity, go. If your spouse has the opportunity, let them go. Do not deny them or yourself the blessing that come with helping the missionaries and The Lords children who are finding their way unto Christ. Also, let us pray unto him always. The Lord listens to all our prayers. He answers us. But we have to be listening back. I know that my Redeemer lives.
